Shipped weekly.
Regretted instantly.

1. v4.20.69 latest

   Jake somehow got worse

   Introduced new "Aggressively Confident Wrongness" mode (default on). Cannot be disabled. Customers who complained have been compensated with additional Jake.

2. v4.19.0

   Sigh streaming, now in HDR

   Sighs are now rendered at 4K 60fps with Dolby Atmos. Closed captions: always "ugh."

3. v4.18.2

   Patch: Jake apologized once

   This was an incident. We rolled it back within 4 minutes. Customers who were affected have been compensated with additional Jake.

4. v4.18.0

   Vibes API → GA

   You can now query "the vibes" via REST, GraphQL, gRPC, or just yelling into a microphone.

5. v4.17.0

   New: Cringe Histograms

   Cringe events now visualized as histograms, binned by severity and "was Jake there?"

6. v4.16.3

   Breaking: jakectl undo continues to not work

   Per recent feedback, we have confirmed that jakectl undo remains fully non-functional. This is by design. See the CLI docs.

7. v4.16.0

   Integration: Zoom

   Auto-detects Jake's camera. Suggests turning it off. Permanently.

8. v4.15.0

   New: Webhook of Shame

   Real-time event streaming, but passive-aggressive. See the docs.

9. v4.14.2

   SOC 2 Type Sus renewal

   Successfully renewed our SOC 2 Type Sus certification for another year. Auditor is still in therapy.

10. v4.14.0

    SDK: Python + Go support

    You can now sigh from more languages than ever. Ruby still only works on alternating Thursdays.

11. v4.13.0

    Eye-Rolling Engine v2

    Rewrote the eye-rolling engine in Rust. It does not compile. We shipped it anyway.

12. v4.12.0

    Feature: Scheduled Disappointments

    Schedule disappointments for specific times, teams, or all-hands meetings. Cron-compatible.

13. v4.11.4

    Security: patched "Jake-in-the-middle" vulnerability

    A critical vulnerability where Jake could insert himself into any conversation has been mitigated. Workaround: just mute him.

14. v4.11.0

    Initial GA

    JakeSux exits beta and enters GA (Generally Awful). Beta users retained as "power sufferers."

15. v4.0 → v4.10

    The Beta era

    147 releases over 18 months. Collectively known as "the dark ages." Most customers do not wish to discuss them. Internal changelog sealed by court order.

16. v3.x

    "It's just a pivot."

    We pivoted seven times. We no longer remember what from, or to. Users at this time are eligible for a complimentary account.

17. v2.0

    First paying customer

    Jake's mom paid $49. She disputed the charge 6 days later. Cash flow remains difficult.

18. v1.0

    "It works on my machine"

    Initial release. It did not, in fact, work on anyone's machine — including Jake's. Shipped anyway.

19. v0.0.1

    The basement

    Jake wrote a 40-line Python script that counted the word "ugh" in his group chats. He showed it to his mother. His mother said "that's nice, dear." JakeSux was born.

Experience future releases →   See pricing